The Whys - Part 1

I'm sitting at the mechanics getting snow tires installed...thank god it snowed last night - I wiped out all over the roads on the way here.  It makes the $500 bones a little more tolerable...good-bye 5 star resort.

The plague appears to be over and the boy even slept past 5am.  Unfortunately, after your kid is sick - you have to retrain him that waking up at 1am and reading books is only a bribe for you to not meltdown when I strip you naked and toss you in a tub to scrub the crap off of you in the middle of the night.  I started that battle last night - and all told, it wasn't too bad.

So back to non-fluid related posts.  I am a 'choice mom'.  This is an actual term that describes single women who have chosen to become mothers.  Not sure if this includes getting knocked up after a drunken tequila binge in Mexico - I think it means you made the sound decision to embark on this trip solo.  There are lots of 'whys' (damn apostrophe or no??) associated with this choice.  Let's start with the first one.

WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?

I know, you think you're being complimentary when you ask single people this.  My response?
'Why are you dating/married to that incredibly boring woman?'
'Why are you spending your life with a guy that treats you like shit?'
These are terrible questions and ones you would never, unless loaded or dared, ask someone.  So why is it okay for people to question my mate of choice who, for right now, is no one. 

Don't mistake this hostility as bitterness towareds men or relationships.  It's not like that.  Would I like to be in a relationship?  Absolutely.  Will it happen sometime?  Yes it will.  If it happens 20 years from now, that's still a solid 20 - 30 years I may have with someone which is frankly, looooong enough.  If it happens today - awesome.  But why do you question it?  It's super irritating. 

Throwing Will into the mix adds a whole new dimension to dating.  Potential mates beware!  I'm no longer just looking for someone who can curl my toes, cook a turkey and speak in full sentences - it's now essential that you would be a positive influence in my son's life.  I actually did date someone for a while this summer and while it sadly didn't work out, it did remind me what I miss about being in a relationship (and a few reasons why I like not being in one.)

I'm lucky.  I've been in love before.  Some people haven't.  I had a first love in high school. We still see each other now and then and reflect on how special it was.  Not everyone has that.  I was engaged to a great guy with a few too many deep seeded issues to overcome, many of which were no fault of his own, and he treated me like gold.  Not everyone has that.  I've been in love with someone that I had no business being in love with.  Okay I think we all had that.  And now, while keeping my eyes open, I have a couple unrequited love interests who provide me with some great daydreams without any of the hassles!  My point - don't cry for me Argentina.  And don't question why I'm single and/or assume this means I'm lonely.  I'm surrounded by people who love me - I'm incredibly lucky.  Instead of waiting for the perfect man..

I created him.

Stay tuned for Why?  number two... Why the HELL did I take this all on!!